Update Schmup-date

Well, I have been doing WW close to a month. It's going pretty good. I went today and weighed at my doctor's office ( which of course is a totally different scale but can still give me the amount I've lost since I went there last month and weighed around the same time I started WW.) I last weighed there on December 22nd, 2010 and I weighed in at a outlandish 257 pounds. Today, I went back and weighed 248 pounds, which is a 9 pound difference in a month!!! I was hoping for more but, I was still happy and I know 9 pounds ain't too shabby. I now only need to do roughly the same for the next 12 months and I'll voila.....be 150-ish pounds No big deal....just a whole 12 months more or 8760 hours. Anyway....here is some other highlights of our past few weeks on WW. I've nicknamed my WW "Points Calculator." While doing this, I thought and thought of the perfect name, as if I was naming a new baby. I thought "SHE" needed to have a exotic name and something skinny-ish sounding. After several days deliberating, I came up with the wondrous name "Gisele Bündchen Jr." For you that may not know, thats the Victoria Secret supermodel that is suppose to be the "hottest" thAng around. I decided on naming our newest family member that because "SHE" (my points calculator) is such a skinny bitch and keeps me in check and likes to show off. And it's funny to hear us scream "bring me Gisele Bündchen Jr. so I can check the point value of this Big Mac" or so and so. It was an AWESOME idea, if I may say so myself. I've been walking 4 miles most days. I've got to where I like walking daily and HATE when the weather is bad. We hope to get some indoor exercise equipment soon to alleviate this issue. Campbell and the other kids too have become my little cheerleaders and beg to go walking in the afternoons. On days I'm by myself, I try to either chat with girlfriends on my cell while walking to make the time pass or surf on FB (and probably look CRAZY walking around town FB'ing or talking to my best friends while my cell is on speaker phone.) So if anyone ask, I'm not walking through town talking to myself but on the phone with my best friend. All the kids are really getting into the finding the points of an item and they act like it's a game. While shopping at the Piggly Wiggly yesterday, I was about to lose my MIND because I had ALL the kids with me and they all wanted to hold "Gisele Bündchen Jr" to see what the points value of their 87 items they were making me buy for them just to shut them up and get out of there without me having an aneurysm. I did allow them to get some turkey sausages covered in Blueberry pancakes for breakfast and they are 9 points for 4 of them (and they are around the size of a McDonald's chicken McNugget.) Anyway, Campbell was SO excited about them she said "I'd eat'em for 9 points." Me, on the other hand has become obsessed about getting the most BANG for my BUCK. I have been using the term my sister was taught when she was attending WW years ago which is "when food is too high in points it's TOO EXPENSIVE saying think of points as money." In fact, while making plans the other day for lunch with a friend I texted back and said "I'll have to text you back about the place to eat, I don't wanna go somewhere TOO EXPENSIVE!" After, I hit send, I realized she probably thought I was being cheap and retexted her the meaning of "TOO EXPENSIVE" as far as WW goes. Just days before, I had realized (while thumbing through my WW Dining Out Guide) one of my favorite places to eat (Dairy Queen) has a very small container (like the size you get with McNuggets at McDonald's) of RANCH which is 9 points (and you know I'd eat more than 1 because I like some RANCH with my RANCH) so I knew we needed a new restaurant of choice. I have become very good at stretching out my 37 daily points. I've laughed to myself and thought "David Copperfield better watch out! There's a new magician in town!" I have been trying new recipes out of my WW cookbook and magazines. Last night, I made the BEST ever, baked sweet potato recipe that you use navel oranges and orange zest in (holla at me if you want the recipe) and the whole family LOVED it! The recipe called for like 3 sweet potatoes and of course the Piggly Wiggly in Bristol didn't have any but I was able to find frozen sweet potato fries (sweet potatoes already cut up) which made assembly easier for just a few extra points. While shopping yesterday, I also bought stuff to make these individual WW pot pies using phyllo dough, WW Mash potato's using half potato's and half cauliflower, and a WW mac and cheese bake using whole wheat pasta. I will post at a later date the outcome of those dishes. All, in all, WW's has been going GREAT. You can eat ANYTHING you want, in MODERATION. I LOVE that, I can eat light all day and then go out for a nice dinner. All the support has been great that I've received from doing this blog. I like everyone keeping me in check and checking on us. Please keep it up and help ME keep it up!!! Just no one tell "Gisele Bündchen Jr."....... that I think she's a bitch!!

Before Pictures (1980 Style)

"Weight Watch Who??" Part Deux

After posting my last post of my experience at the WW meeting Thursday, I thought of a million things I left out. Whereas I'm making jokes about WW, I KNOW it's the BEST way to lose weight. I support ALL things WW but I also love a good laugh. Some of these things were too funny to not include so here it goes.....

1. I was the youngest person in our group of chubby women but the 2nd fattest. And yes, I understand how ridiculous it was of me to scan the room to see where I fell in the fatness meter of the all the chubby desperate souls in the room but I had to do it (you know, for research for my blog and NOT because I'm vain.)

2. There were NO men in the group. I was kinda surprised and would have LOVED to hear a true, full fledged MALE Weight Watcher-ian sharing his thoughts amongst a room full of fat chicks.

3. My new home girl Lee or Leigh or maybe Leah was wearing the ever stylish sock less tennis shoes without backs. That made me laugh. And if you own an pair of backless tennis shoes I don't judge but I STRONGLY advise you to throw them away and get'cha some tennis shoes with backs. It is 2011 now, you know. Unless, you are a VIP with the MOST busy life ever jet setting across the world, you can take 2 extra minutes and actually put on regular tennis shoes WITH backs, on.

4.WW is TOTALLY different now and is more ATKINS'S-ish. All fresh fruits and veggie's are now 0 "Points Plus." When our leader Sandy told us this, I asked "we still are limited to 5 servings of free foods a day before we have to start counting them, right?" Sandy got the BIGGEST smile and acted as happy as if she had been the soul inventor of all things WW and said "no you have NO limit now. You just have to eat everything in moderation." I quickly said back to her "can you just tell me it's only 5 servings because I don't wanna end up eating 42 bananas one day because I think they're free and then not be able to figure out why I'm GAINING weight." Everyone of course laughed.

5. After combing over my new WW supplies I'm learning the new system. I'm still not sure if I'm going to like it or not, we will see after I start it tomorrow and stay on it a while. I may resort to going back to my "old faith full" WW program info. I NEVER understand why companies switch stuff when they're not broken (except now you do HAVE to have the "Points Plus" calculator to even figure out your daily "Points Plus" amount, so they do GET you into buying a few more products.) I do know that the new program can ALL be bought in the first meeting (no more weekly flyers to add besides some leaflets that were on the back table that are kinda like a mini WW magazine and also some that are specific like I got one for Young People and Men for Campbell and Jim.) Also, you no longer get a points finder you have to just look stuff up in your new "Points Plus" books or use your new calculator. Also, you no longer figure things based on Calories, Fat, and Fiber. Calories for some reason are no longer an issue. Per, my new "Points Plus" Getting Started book it says "That Scientist and health experts have long known that measuring calories is not the most accurate way to understand foods impact on weight loss. That's because they don't take into account how your body processes the food. The calories you see on food labels reflect the amount of energy that is in the food before you eat it. Once you eat it, your body has to process it and in that process some calories are used. "Points Plus" values reflect the energy that's left over after you've processed it. The book also says "your body works harder to process protein and fiber. It also says it doesn't work as hard to process carbs and fat, so more calories from that type of food is stored." So, I guess now I'm learning why I'm SO fat.....I am in LOVE with BREAD. I mean, a real LOVE, so bad that sometimes I think I'm one yeast roll away from getting Rickets because my diet is SO bad. So anyway, I digress, now we only figure the protein, fat, carbs, and fiber to get your new "Points Plus" values for the food you choose.

6. Also, while trying to figure this new program out, I found a better definition (they didn't go SUPER in depth that night just that it was a 25 pound loss reward) for my new BFF Lee or Leigh, or maybe Leah's "circle charm" she won the night of our meeting along with all of the WW rewards available. Here's the low down, which AGAIN makes me laugh....1. for each and every 5 pounds you lose you get a BLUE star shaped sticker that says 5lb on them that you add to the very back of your "Points Plus" Pocket Guide where they've added blank "BRAVO!" titled pages that act like a sticker book. WW is so on the ball and ahead of the game about what is gonna make me and other chubster's out in the world lose weight......a sticker book with earn able stickers to add to our "FANCY" sticker books that makes us feel like we're back in 1988. I will remember that when I'm on my 10th piece of pizza, (that I want to fill my sticker book pages chock full of stickers) and will stop at my 9th piece of pizza.
Next, you will get a GREEN star shaped or BRAVO! sticker for what they say comes from reporting to your leader at your weekly meetings what they refer to as "a NON-scale victory" like maybe you exercise 5 days a week. Next comes, loosing 5% of your weight you get a PURPLE star shaped sticker with 5% wrote on it to add to your old trusty sticker book. Then, when you lose 10% of your weight (that would be 25 pounds for me if your keeping track) you get a rose gold colored (and no, it's not real. We didn't just skip from stickers to real gold blinged out key rings, folks) but it's quite nice. Then for each and every 25 pounds you loose (shout out Lee or Leigh or maybe Leah for your 25 pound loss!!!!!) you get what they call a "circle charm" to add to your key ring. The next charm listed is for what they call "SAS" which means STAY AND SUCCEED. To achieve that you have had to attended 16 paid meetings (hence STAY AND SUCCEED.) I'm not certain but I'm pretty sure that, that charm reward is just those silly WW execs way of getting you to attend enough meetings to earn that. They had to come up with a cute name and SAS (STAY AND SUCCEED) sounds a lot better than say the name "Come each week and pay and we'll give you a charm after you pay for and attend 16 meetings" charm which I'm sure was their 2nd choice right behind SAS (STAY AND SUCCEED.) Lastly, you get a STAR charm for your key ring when you reach YOUR ultimate weight goal, whichever that may be even if it's not within your Healthy Weight Range.
The most coveted and sought after WW reward is "LIFETIME MEMBERSHIP" which amongst the WeightWatcher-ians of the world is "celebrity status." I also found the defined definition of what you have to do to become a LM quite comical (like most things in my life.) Straight out of my "Points Plus" Pocket Guide it says to achieve this WW reward and I quote you must "Finish six weeks of maintenance as a paid member, weighing in at least twice during that period. As long as, after that period, you weigh in within two pounds of the ultimate goal that you agree upon with your Leader-from the Healthy Weight Ranges, or as defined by your physician-that is at least 5 pounds less than your starting weight" you'll earn LM. LM also has it's own set of rules to keep that status. But back to the definition of achieving LM status, it made me mad. I know, I know, a WW book shouldn't make a normal person mad but remember I'm not the average person, my mind races with everything I see and do (mostly because I enjoy a good laugh and while paying closer attention to random stuff than the average person...it affords me MORE laughs.) So anyway, the problem I had with the definition of LM is my mind (which is the kooky mind of a fat chick) can't believe the last line in the definition which reads "you have to be AT LEAST 5 pounds less than when you started WW to get LM." Are they serious? I can't believe someone would join WW just to lose 5 pounds when they really probably need a snack and a couple of 4th meals.

So, in closing...since I will not be attending a regular WW meeting (don't tell Lee or Leigh or maybe Leah....I think she thinks I'm coming back next week) I won't be able to earn any of these jam-up rewards. Jim, Campbell, and I are gonna make up our own rewards which I will post at a later date (and I hope to come up with some just as funny or maybe funnier if that's possible!) All suggestions are welcome. Even though it makes me kinda sad not to get my sticker book filled or my key ring full of charms I've decided it was probably for the best. I know if I was gonna get stickers I'd be pissy if they were not SCRATCH-n-SNIFF like a true 1988 sticker books should be (and I would want them Scratch-n-Sniff so I could get most bang for my buck and could smell different foods without gaining any weight.) And as far as the key ring goes ( this REALLY makes me know I need to make my own list of rewards) because for the fact that.....I know that key ring would just hold my keys while I'd be driving as fast as I could to the nearest fast food restaurant while I'm simultaneously smelling my Scratch-n-Sniff stickers.

***********Stay tuned. I hope to have mine and Jim's before pics uploaded soon. They're gonna be a whole heaping amount of AWESOMENESS!!!!!**************

"Weight Watch Who??"

Tonight I decided to join Weight Watchers to be able to purchase the new "Points Plus" program books (and I plan on using the online services.) We were already in Panama City so I just drove to the meeting site, left Jim and Tripp in the car, to just run in a "quick second" to join, "weigh in", and buy my goods. I go in and was relieved the group was small (8 other desperate chubby souls plus MYSELF and 2 WW workers.) I step up to the lady to join (and since she had overheard me talking to someone in line that I had done WW before) she asks "are you a lifetime member?" I busted out laughing and piped back and said "do I look like a "lifetime member"?" She busts out laughing (because folks, that was the MOST special question I've EVER been asked (because let's be honest....if I'm a lifetime member now.....I'd hate to see what I was like before I lost enough to become a "lifetime member.") I then fill out the paperwork and step up on the HUGE black WW scales that made me feel like I was on my own episode of "Biggest Loser." I asked the WW Leader (who I later found out was named Sandy) if she'd photograph my weight (for my blog) on the monitor that read my weight on her scale that was on her desk facing her (for some reason, you don't actually get to see what you weigh at a meeting,,,they just tell you.....like that makes it better to not have to see it for yourself.....I guess.) She was SO friendly and nice and quickly obliged the crazy request from the new, loud, crazy, talking 100 miles per minute member (that would be me.) I buy my goods and she tells me a few new things about the new program and it sounds kinda crazy so when she asked me to stay for the meeting I grabbed my goodies and took my seat in the last row by myself. As I sat down I smile and say "hi" to the lady in the row ahead of me. Before I knew it, I see that same lady (who I would later find out was named Lee or Leigh or maybe Leah and was 36) picked up her stuff and turns to me and says "Imma come sit by you." I was like "LAWD!! Really? Can't a fat chick come into a WW meeting and be incognito?" She then sits down and tells me that "tonight I get my circle charm" with as much enthusiasm as if she was about to receive one of those big checks from Publisher Clearinghouse. I, who has always in the past done WW at home and only been to one other real meeting, didn't know what a "circle charm" was. When I asked what it was she said "you'll see"........(like it was part of some secret society that I was about to be initiated into or maybe hazed into)then finishes it with "I've lost 25 pounds since February...I started out at 189 ." I of course congratulate her and acted as happy as I do when my almost 4 year old draws me a new masterpiece to hang on our fridge (which means I overly hyped that congrats up of her 25 pound weight loss in the past 10 months celebration.) She, I mean, Lee or Leigh or maybe Leah says "I have to stay on program or I'd be 250 pounds." My brain went into overdrive like it often does and I was like "did she just say "or I'd be 250?" And my chubby ass weighed in today at 251.6??? I know, I MUST have misheard the little grasshopper." I of course, just chuckle to myself and pretend like I also can't get to 250 pounds. Then, the leader comes over and introduces herself as "Sandy" and starts the meeting. She announces our group had 3 new members tonight and before I could say the word "Holy HELL-i-copter" she had introduced all 3 of us by name and even gave a short point and shout out. Then she begins the meeting or as we'll call it here amongst us friends here "Kimberly's Comedy Hour Special" and a little WW meeting. It all began when she starts talking and asking people if they had gained much over Christmas and were they glad to see the New Year come. I raised my hand (like I had seen the others in our group do) and said I had read a good quote online yesterday that said "Most people worry about their weight between Christmas and New Year when they really should worry about their weight between New Year and Christmas." Then, that was followed by more WW info THEN Sandy asks "what has others said to you to discourage you in your weight loss efforts before?" We took turns sharing our answers and when it came my turn, I went into a HELL-arious 5 minute small Broadway-ish performance of how EVERY TIME my feet hit the ground out of my front door someone asks "whens that baby due?" And if your keeping score, that happened last Tuesday when I took my kids to the doctor (thanks Dr. F of Blountstown. Since you saved my life when I had my brain tumor,,,I guess,,,,I'll overlook it that ONE time.) Then, Sandy asks what goals did we have for the coming year and I of course had to think of something funny and I say "to look less like my Mother." I'm pretty sure by then the rest of the group had realized a Kathy Griffin-ish (I wish) wannabe had joined their small quiet group and was trying to shake things up and make tonight's meeting (or the Kimberly's Comedy Hour Special) fun, oops....... I mean fun-ER because we ALL know "weighing in" and sharing our feelings of how and why we got SO "fatty- fatty- two- by-four" to a group of strangers is ALWAYS a BLAST. The meeting continues and ends with a few more crazy-ish comments by yours truly, then it ended. Time elapsed, an hour and a half. I go out to my car (without making a pit stop at Granny Cantrell's Buffet like Jim and I did before, after attending our first WW meeting years ago and we all know any restaurant with the word "Granny" in the title ain't healthy) to find poor Jim and Tripp sitting there like the most patient fellas a girl could ask for. Except Jim needed a restroom, STAT... but that was a minor detail to me because I knew that hour and a half was gonna make for the best story EVER!!!!

"There's a SITUATION!!!!"

I've always been big. Not obese like now but HEALTHY, for sure. Then one day I woke up and I had turned into what I always swore I'd NEVER become,,,,My Mother!!! Well, truthfully worse, because I have even surpassed my Mother's weight and kept going with no end in sight. I am still fairly young (I know 31 used to be SO old but now I believe 31 is the new 20) but I'm in worse shape than most young, spry, 100 year old's. I get NO exercise and eat like each meal may be my last. I have HBP and dangerously high triglycerides (my doctor told me 150 was considered high and yet I stepped up to the plate with the shockingly high number of 319.) Also, my good cholesterol which they want AT LEAST 40,, I had to out do myself with a number of 36. I was also told I was PRE-diabetic,which a HELL-arious cousin of mine (shout out T.O. Stanfill) told me, "that we as "BARBER'S" (my Mother's side of the family with the most unenviable gene pool ever created) are PRE-diabetic at BIRTH!!!" And let's not forget that I'm only like 5'3" on a good day and I'm weighing in at a whopping 260-ish pounds. If we went by my weight I should be over 6'4" and MALE!!!!

On top of ALL my issues,,,I now have an over weight child AND even OBESE-er husband. All of it due to my choice of foods that I cook and our love affair with fast food. Not only was I born with genetics that NO ONE would envy,, I was born into a family of great cooks and even better eaters!!! My whole life has revolved around food from as far back as I can remember. Whether it was just simple family dinner or a big family get-together,, food was always the thing we cared about.

I have decided that it's "Time for a CHANGE" (no pun intended Obama) for me and my family!! I'm starting this blog to record my journey of weight loss (the good, the bad, and even those horrible before pictures!!!) I would LOVE any feedback and comments (please be kind) to help me through this long road ahead. I plan on doing Weight Watchers and besides myself, my husband Jim (starting weight 350 age 37) and daughter Campbell (starting weight 125 age 9) will also participating 100%. The other members of my household will be eating better too as we are all going to cut the junk!!
P.S. No Mother's were intended to have their feelings hurt with any above mentioned reference but we ALL know we NEVER intended to become our MOTHER!!!