"Weight Watch Who??"

Tonight I decided to join Weight Watchers to be able to purchase the new "Points Plus" program books (and I plan on using the online services.) We were already in Panama City so I just drove to the meeting site, left Jim and Tripp in the car, to just run in a "quick second" to join, "weigh in", and buy my goods. I go in and was relieved the group was small (8 other desperate chubby souls plus MYSELF and 2 WW workers.) I step up to the lady to join (and since she had overheard me talking to someone in line that I had done WW before) she asks "are you a lifetime member?" I busted out laughing and piped back and said "do I look like a "lifetime member"?" She busts out laughing (because folks, that was the MOST special question I've EVER been asked (because let's be honest....if I'm a lifetime member now.....I'd hate to see what I was like before I lost enough to become a "lifetime member.") I then fill out the paperwork and step up on the HUGE black WW scales that made me feel like I was on my own episode of "Biggest Loser." I asked the WW Leader (who I later found out was named Sandy) if she'd photograph my weight (for my blog) on the monitor that read my weight on her scale that was on her desk facing her (for some reason, you don't actually get to see what you weigh at a meeting,,,they just tell you.....like that makes it better to not have to see it for yourself.....I guess.) She was SO friendly and nice and quickly obliged the crazy request from the new, loud, crazy, talking 100 miles per minute member (that would be me.) I buy my goods and she tells me a few new things about the new program and it sounds kinda crazy so when she asked me to stay for the meeting I grabbed my goodies and took my seat in the last row by myself. As I sat down I smile and say "hi" to the lady in the row ahead of me. Before I knew it, I see that same lady (who I would later find out was named Lee or Leigh or maybe Leah and was 36) picked up her stuff and turns to me and says "Imma come sit by you." I was like "LAWD!! Really? Can't a fat chick come into a WW meeting and be incognito?" She then sits down and tells me that "tonight I get my circle charm" with as much enthusiasm as if she was about to receive one of those big checks from Publisher Clearinghouse. I, who has always in the past done WW at home and only been to one other real meeting, didn't know what a "circle charm" was. When I asked what it was she said "you'll see"........(like it was part of some secret society that I was about to be initiated into or maybe hazed into)then finishes it with "I've lost 25 pounds since February...I started out at 189 ." I of course congratulate her and acted as happy as I do when my almost 4 year old draws me a new masterpiece to hang on our fridge (which means I overly hyped that congrats up of her 25 pound weight loss in the past 10 months celebration.) She, I mean, Lee or Leigh or maybe Leah says "I have to stay on program or I'd be 250 pounds." My brain went into overdrive like it often does and I was like "did she just say "or I'd be 250?" And my chubby ass weighed in today at 251.6??? I know, I MUST have misheard the little grasshopper." I of course, just chuckle to myself and pretend like I also can't get to 250 pounds. Then, the leader comes over and introduces herself as "Sandy" and starts the meeting. She announces our group had 3 new members tonight and before I could say the word "Holy HELL-i-copter" she had introduced all 3 of us by name and even gave a short point and shout out. Then she begins the meeting or as we'll call it here amongst us friends here "Kimberly's Comedy Hour Special" and a little WW meeting. It all began when she starts talking and asking people if they had gained much over Christmas and were they glad to see the New Year come. I raised my hand (like I had seen the others in our group do) and said I had read a good quote online yesterday that said "Most people worry about their weight between Christmas and New Year when they really should worry about their weight between New Year and Christmas." Then, that was followed by more WW info THEN Sandy asks "what has others said to you to discourage you in your weight loss efforts before?" We took turns sharing our answers and when it came my turn, I went into a HELL-arious 5 minute small Broadway-ish performance of how EVERY TIME my feet hit the ground out of my front door someone asks "whens that baby due?" And if your keeping score, that happened last Tuesday when I took my kids to the doctor (thanks Dr. F of Blountstown. Since you saved my life when I had my brain tumor,,,I guess,,,,I'll overlook it that ONE time.) Then, Sandy asks what goals did we have for the coming year and I of course had to think of something funny and I say "to look less like my Mother." I'm pretty sure by then the rest of the group had realized a Kathy Griffin-ish (I wish) wannabe had joined their small quiet group and was trying to shake things up and make tonight's meeting (or the Kimberly's Comedy Hour Special) fun, oops....... I mean fun-ER because we ALL know "weighing in" and sharing our feelings of how and why we got SO "fatty- fatty- two- by-four" to a group of strangers is ALWAYS a BLAST. The meeting continues and ends with a few more crazy-ish comments by yours truly, then it ended. Time elapsed, an hour and a half. I go out to my car (without making a pit stop at Granny Cantrell's Buffet like Jim and I did before, after attending our first WW meeting years ago and we all know any restaurant with the word "Granny" in the title ain't healthy) to find poor Jim and Tripp sitting there like the most patient fellas a girl could ask for. Except Jim needed a restroom, STAT... but that was a minor detail to me because I knew that hour and a half was gonna make for the best story EVER!!!!

"There's a SITUATION!!!!"

I've always been big. Not obese like now but HEALTHY, for sure. Then one day I woke up and I had turned into what I always swore I'd NEVER become,,,,My Mother!!! Well, truthfully worse, because I have even surpassed my Mother's weight and kept going with no end in sight. I am still fairly young (I know 31 used to be SO old but now I believe 31 is the new 20) but I'm in worse shape than most young, spry, 100 year old's. I get NO exercise and eat like each meal may be my last. I have HBP and dangerously high triglycerides (my doctor told me 150 was considered high and yet I stepped up to the plate with the shockingly high number of 319.) Also, my good cholesterol which they want AT LEAST 40,, I had to out do myself with a number of 36. I was also told I was PRE-diabetic,which a HELL-arious cousin of mine (shout out T.O. Stanfill) told me, "that we as "BARBER'S" (my Mother's side of the family with the most unenviable gene pool ever created) are PRE-diabetic at BIRTH!!!" And let's not forget that I'm only like 5'3" on a good day and I'm weighing in at a whopping 260-ish pounds. If we went by my weight I should be over 6'4" and MALE!!!!

On top of ALL my issues,,,I now have an over weight child AND even OBESE-er husband. All of it due to my choice of foods that I cook and our love affair with fast food. Not only was I born with genetics that NO ONE would envy,, I was born into a family of great cooks and even better eaters!!! My whole life has revolved around food from as far back as I can remember. Whether it was just simple family dinner or a big family get-together,, food was always the thing we cared about.

I have decided that it's "Time for a CHANGE" (no pun intended Obama) for me and my family!! I'm starting this blog to record my journey of weight loss (the good, the bad, and even those horrible before pictures!!!) I would LOVE any feedback and comments (please be kind) to help me through this long road ahead. I plan on doing Weight Watchers and besides myself, my husband Jim (starting weight 350 age 37) and daughter Campbell (starting weight 125 age 9) will also participating 100%. The other members of my household will be eating better too as we are all going to cut the junk!!
P.S. No Mother's were intended to have their feelings hurt with any above mentioned reference but we ALL know we NEVER intended to become our MOTHER!!!